Tis the season to be vomiting...

fa la la la lalalala!

It occurred to me yesterday as I hung my head over the toilet bowl that I may get sick every year around this time... I wonder what I can do about that. I'll have to start being more mindful of where my head and heart are next year starting in early November.

I figure since I spent an entire 24 hours puking literally, it might be time for a little verbal diarrhea to accompany it. Old school Kate style.

I'm exhausted... and completely out of patience. Wait a minute, scratch that. I have ENORMOUS amounts of patience but I use it all up daily on my toddler. Who, frankly, is the most deserving. I think it's reasonable for an 18 month old to act like a baby... not so much for adults.

I have 11 emails marked as unread in my inbox reminding me to respond to people that I treasure and long to connect with to make my life more meaningful than what it is inside the walls of this house... but I'm so tired.

I need a sign, or instructions. Feeling a little lost. Feeling a little left out, a little hurt, a little unimportant, a little judged, a little under appreciated, a little underpaid, a little worried, a little potentially homeless or bankrupt.

It occurred to me the other day that when you don't have enough money to pay all of your bills moving is not the only choice. You can call all your utility companies and creditors and ask for a little wiggle room. That seems like a good plan, a nice way to buy an extra month... but does it sound like I have the energy to do something like that? If only I had a partner to do these sort of things. Someone who is frustrated at not being able to find work and needs some purpose, some way of contributing in a meaningful way to help rebuild his sense of self. If only.

By the way, this is the first blog post ever that I composed without "writing" it in my head first. How did I do?

Something to ponder

The next time you see a fat person who claims to be poor and has trouble affording food, instead of thinking to yourself "well, she doesn't seem to have any trouble finding money for cheeseburgers" consider that maybe, just maybe, she used to be twice as fat and has been starving as a result of her poverty and has actually lost weight.

Dear John McCain,

Well played, sir, well played. I really enjoyed watching your speech last night. It was eloquent and respectful. I wanted to talk to you a little bit about the campaign. To kind of debrief where it might have gone wrong... Many will say it was the Palin choice, but I think she is just a symptom of a bigger strategy problem.

You see, you were an ideal candidate at one point... A true independent Maverick who stood proud on his own, never buying into the hype of either party and just acting in what you believed to be the best interest of the American people. It would have seemed that with that history you could have attracted and earned the votes of the many independent Americans out there... that should have been the case.

I have NO idea how you managed to win the Republican Primary. Maybe it was because there were too many other good candidates and the party votes were split between them leaving you to rise to the top? It seemed so unlikely, but you got it anyway. And that, my friend, is where it went wrong. Once you had the nomination, you had the conservative base. There is no way in hell any of them would have voted for Barack OR Hillary. Republicans historically, fall in line... you had them at hello.

Instead of recognizing that and playing to the middle (like so many successful candidates have done in the past) you spent much of your campaign trying to secure the conservative base of the republican party and in doing so, neglected the people who could have elected you. Conservative people are out there and they have a lot of money and a loud voice, but as you learned last night, they are not mighty in numbers, at least not in the places where it counts.

I'm afraid you sold yourself out trying to win a base that would have been yours by default and in doing so you lost the support of the people who were most likely to support you. I'm sorry that it happened that way, you could have even had my husband's vote... if you'd played your cards right.

Again, I enjoyed your speech last night. I am touched by your declaration of cooperation, I hope your constituents will do so as sincerely as you asked them to. I am saddened by the "boo"s I heard when you mentioned Obama in contrast to the cheers I heard when he mentioned you, but I am so proud of you for denouncing them. I hope you will be better able to influence your supporters to support the President Elect than you were able to draw them to the polls; I fear you won't. I wish you all the best and thank you for a great election year; it's been a blast.

Much love,
Kate M.

A Woman Obsessed